i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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