Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
