It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
