but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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