My balls are so social today.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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