Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
