We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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