at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
