i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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