i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..