Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me