They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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