marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
