i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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