do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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