I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
