I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
