Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
