Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
