I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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