she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
