wanna go halves on a baby?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You have to summon your inner elephant
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
