U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you will always have a special place in my vag
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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