I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
