Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
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I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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