Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize