Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
