I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
