**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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