.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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