You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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