y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
