You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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