She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
