You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
