he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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