Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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