bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
