i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize