Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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