dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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