Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
