he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
