sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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