WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
