last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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