Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
