He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
