So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
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looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
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....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding