Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame