i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.