the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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