dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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