is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
