Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
