I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
