Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
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We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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