Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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