I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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