Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
