I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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