just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
