alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
